mummy blues

Their are  a lot of you i am sure have at some point or another had the blues.I was very lucky with my first child everything was texted book so I thought the second would be as well.

Iwas so wrong in my second pregnancy we moved house twice saw the millenium in ill in bed with a house full of flu .

Then family fallout all I wanted was to be in my nice new home and my beautiful babies with me but everything was just going wrong i was so tired getting everything ready for my new arrival so i would be able to relax in the last few weeks.

till i was told that my baby would be 2 weeks early and a c section i was devastated but hey as long as my little bundle of joy was ok that’s all that mattered.

so welcome baby number 2 who came from Australia was awake when I so desperately wanted and needed my sleep.we muddled along getting into a routine of being a family of four.

I was so desperate to lose my baby weight but nothing was happening i wanted to sleep all the time I hated mirrors and felt I was doing everything wrong .even that my husband hated me I hated the way I looked had so many negative thoughts till I was busy cooking tea my husband walked in and I still to this day can not remember what he said to me but I just flipped got my purse and drove off.where was I going what was I doing I somehow ended back home just sat in my car holding on for dear life crying.when I went in the kids where bathed and in bed my husband just put his arms out and hugged me I felt like a river was running from my body.such relief.

I went to the dr and got some tablets it wasn’t an over night cure it took a good year for me to feel like a mum ,wife and some confidence to creep back in.

I never looked back but i do find that even though my kids are teenagers that at times even now those blues creep back in I try to control as much myself as I can but it is hard.

i now throw on  a cd and will laugh and dance with my kids or say let’s go out and have some fun when I feel it coming on.i’m not saying this is a permanent cure but at the moment it works .

don’t get me wrong sometimes i can still be stood washing up and the tears will just roll down thinking I’m a failure with 2 teenagers as now I am needed less and less unless it as a B & B worker.

I can still feel lonely at times and can still look in the mirror and hate what I see I don’t think this will ever change.

but I am living again and getting to catch up with old friends.

so it’s not as bad as it reads i just wanted any young mums who are trying to avoid mummy blues see that you can get it at anytime and that you are not alone and have the confidence to ask for help.

or us older mums to understand that it can come back at anytime and it is not our fault we are not failures we are mums who work,clean, and most importantly run a home and in my case taxi service our job is 24hours till the day we die we can not hand in a p45 or walk away.so if any off this sounds like you or someone you know get the mobile send a txt of coffee and cake meet up and have a girlie moan and most importantly a mummy hug to your friend so they know you care.then you can look forward to more coffee and cake and many laughs.

i hope this has helped and please add any comments no matter what stage of motherhood you are so we can all help each other .

thank you for taking the time to read my blog x

The 11+

I am new to all this blogging but I often find myself at times through the day or night with something on my mind but nowhere to shout out or say how I feel.  Tha was until my friend got me set up on here and ready to send me out into the world of blogging.

Well here goes i’m sure there are many of you out there who have children ready in September to sit the 11+.  I am a parent who has had one child go through it and passed and one ready to go through it all.   I hope I can help as a parent to give advice and just some general information at this stressful time.

With my first I just took it all in my stride, I thought it was all part of parenthood no pressure and if they passed great.  But oh no, it was parents in the okay corral with guns at dawn, let the bitchiness of parenthood begin.  They all stand in little groups telling each other how great their child is and how much they deserve a place at the local High School or Grammar School.  Getting to the point of children hearing this and it becoming playground gossip.  Which as I can see it is putting pressure on the child.

When you go to any meetings they will tell you to try and make it as stress free as possible .  All i used to think was if my child wishes to talk about it then we will but if not it was not the main topic of conversation.  The day approached us very quickly and off my child went, I felt so sick as I knew my child wanted to go and it was the one time as a parent I felt helpless I could not help or take control only have my arms ready for a hug when they got home and a big sigh of relief.

We had 2 weeks of this and then it was in fate’s hands so we tried to get on with life as much as possible if the parents of other kids would let us.

Then D-day, as I called it, came.  We had been out and bought a games console so if my child had passed or not we wanted to make them feel like no matter what, they had earned a treat.  A postal strike!! Could this day get any worse?? I have never felt so on edge, sick, numb – anything else you can think of, I felt it!!   

I hear the post arrive!  I am shaking, can’t wait any longer so I open it . . . . yes a pass!!!!!  I was so proud.

The texts kept coming, “has yours passed” etc none stop.  You felt sorry for those who had not and the pressure you knew they had been under.

We had a great day and a whole new future to look forward to.

Now I’m going through it all again.  Parents at the school gate bragging and moaning about the poor kids.  You can just feel it but this time we are really sitting on the fence.  My children are chalk and cheese, so the only thing I can say is ‘as long as you try you are not a failure you have already achieved far more than me beacuse you would never get me in the room’.  Also how proud of my child I am so i’m ready for a summer of moods and daily mind changes until  September and October is out of the way.  What i’m trying to say, is these childre are young adults with feelings!  Would you want to have to go and sit that test knowing if you don’t pass you are letting mum and dad down?  NO!

So please think of your child and give them a great summer and a big hug after each test and make them feel the star they are whether they pass or not .

Images: Telegraph.co.uk; timesonline.typepad.com; cartoonstock.com; flickr.com.